What squeaks my brakes?

Revamped version of “Grinds-my-gears”, okay not really, they are pretty much the same (MW and CB get the joke)!!

DECEMBER 13,2012

SEVEN DAYS UNTIL THE WORLD ENDS. . .

I have a serious problem with being annoyed by people. Simply annoyed. People get on my ever-loving nerves often, probably too often, Me and Dr. Onuoha( My psychiatrist) are working on it. So while I’m working through this problem of mine I need some help by the people who surround me and strangers. You all need to know some things to help me from a torture case.  Here’s the problem now that I’ve given you my background history. This week it is Men. I know that I seem cool, like really cool when you first meet me, I’m open for almost any convo, I drink whiskey and almost any liquor that exist (besides everclear, I do enjoy my life),  I cuss a lot (bad habit but once again DR. Onuoha), I have a uber dry sense of humor, all combined makes me seem like a real guys girl. NOPE GUESS AGAIN , IM NOTTTTT!  I don’t even like sports. So check yourself when you talk to me, asking me about sex and my partners that shit is inappropriate. If you have a girlfriend or a wife and  some how you  think it is appropriate to do things as if you were single and I was single. #1 I don’t cheat, nor will I ever be the other woman (I’m not even referring to a sexual relationship , I’m speaking platonically, I never want to be the cause of conflict in someone else relationship. Facetiming another man/women at night when you’re in a relationship, NOT OKAY.  Trying to be the guy-that-likes-to-poke- fun-cause-its-cute, no love it’s not cute and you sure don’t want me to start with you b/c I promise, you will CRY. Do not FUCK with Samuel (MY DOG), EVER. That’s my child and I don’t put up with that shit, calling him names and etc. , I don’t play those games, some may call me crazy for my relationship with Samuel but if it bothers you that much I can give you DR.O’S number. Using slang to talk or text with me, look I am 26 I don’t speak like that, I made payments for my education and accrued debt to speak properly, please stop using up my phones memory with slang. Although I have bad habits of drinking and cussing, and occasional thoughts of committing murder.  I am still a christian. PLEASE do not ever question the level of my faith. I do not need to prove my love for Jesus to you. We can talk all day about religion in any setting I do not mind.  Do not offer advice when you and I both know it is coming from a place of malice. SIMPLY im not a guys type of girl, I am a women who is a bit more brute than some, but I have my boundaries. If you cross them then you no longer exist in my life, ask and shall recieve.

Sept 13

Do you know what squeaks my breaks, selfish people. I’m talking about that sort of selfish in which they makeup excuses about their hectic life to not go or do anything, just because it’s not convenient to them. So the first time few times are understandable because randomness happens, its life, but after 20 times (literally) your like there’s a problem. Your so full of it!! Do you think every time I do something it’s convenient? No! Half the time I quickly say yes to things without thinking and then I’m stuck , I would rather stay home but I made a promise and being true to my commitments is every important to me. I feel like it is a simple way to determine if you are credible, and ones gains trust through credibility. Doesn’t everyone what to be trustworthy? What’s more hilarious is that they act as if their life is so so so so much more important! Each individuals life and activities that occur are important. How can another try to convince you otherwise? One would have to be self-centered. I mean really. . . making judgment such as “you have more time then me”, as if I do nothing with my time. Two things, First: I do NOT share what I am doing until it is completed, so because I am not talking about what I do all day does not mean it is not filled! Second: I simply do not complain (This is not to say I do not bitch, I love to bitch about things that are not really important, possible thrive in it, I guess I think its funny to be annoying). Or say “I have more responsibilities”, now maybe I don’t pay a mortgage, excessive bills, insurance, car notes or whatever else people pay for, it does not mean, I do not have responsibilities or people who depend on me. I find it beyond rude to compare lives, I just don’t get it. What’s important to you may not be important to me but that fine it’s your life, and I have no right to say anything about it. Selfish people are like number 8 on my list of pet peeves! Like i said in past posts my friend list is looking super skimpy and it seems like it needs a good detox right about now.

Sept 15

So today what squeaks my breaks are double standards. Double standards between friends, monogamous relationships, non-monogamous relationship, parents, co-workers or whoever else you interact with.

Sept 23

So what squeaks my breaks today, is liars! Now we all have told our lies, I know I am guilty of it especially to my parents!! But how do you try to lie about things but we are friends on face-book so you know I’ll see it, so strange. Like your from “so-and-so” but you really grew up in Houston, or your single but you have pictures of your “wifey” hahah!!! Hilarious! Guise are soooo funny. Don’t worry “YOU GOOD, YOU GOOD” (In my Natalie voice). There is something else that is bothering me today, people who actually know me and still do not understand my personality. Yes I have a very dry dry dry sense of humor. But you know me so should get it, oh well I guess I can’t expect everyone to understand my thought processes. GOD is love, Love is GOD

Sept 24

I wish I could stop hearing people complain about their lives, “Oh I wish I had this, or I wish i could be in a different situation”, instead of wasting your energy on being somber and complaining and putting me in a bad mood, put it to better use and do something that will change your life. Only you can make things happen. If you want a well to do partner, then put yourself in the situations to find one, If you want more money, go back to school and obtain a better job, if you don’t like you hair, slap some weave on that shit and move on, if your clothes are busted learn how to sew!! Negativity is so toxic!! LOVES YA!!

Oct 6

I can not stand individuals who are indenial or unrealistic about their relationship with their current or past significant other. I can understand why you would not tell your friends the truth about your situation, hell it can get embarrassing, especially when you continue to make the same mistakes, but lets not lie to ourselves and justify situations that are unjustifiable. If she is a blatant cheater, you don’t have to tell Sam the truth but tell yourself; if he is addicted to crack, most likely you don’t have to tell Sara but remind yourself. Lets stop making excuses for others, it only makes you look bad! Oh yeah, gosh this one really makes my stomach hurt, men who talk about having sex for hours, look I don’t know everyone’s sexual desires but I can only speak for my own, an hourand a half – two hours is just too long (does this make me sound lazy) ! Can we please sum everything up in forty-five minuets (kissing, hugging, spooning, oral, fore-play and sex) please don’t tell me 2 hours I will just die. Can anyone really last for a w whole two hours and why do you feel the need to tell me, heads up that does not make me want you more and if you can please DO NOT come this way. Hahaha but I’m so serious.

Nov 3

I’m not sure if this necessarily annoys me but confuses me. Okay so here’s the squeak: When you clearly state what you want or do not want in the beginning of a “relationship” (dating relationship), and some how the other tries to pressure you or convenience you to do otherwise. Does this sound confusing? Okay I’ll use myself as the example, I like being single, I really, really, really do and I’m not sure when that will change, so when I meet guise I let them know! But, for some reason, some of these guise want to put the relationship pressure on me as if that would work!! I like being in the company of men, but not the strings, commitments and responsibilities. Why can’t they understand that? All the men I meet, in the beginning, claim that they are okay with it, but I can understand after a while you get frustrated. I do not limit myself to one person (not sexually {this could lead to AIDs and I would rather live my life without that}, but socially) and I assume that is the big problem, when they see me going on dates and so on. . . After their frustration surfaces, because the phone calls slow down, they put the pressure all the way up! It sort of feels like they are trying to change me. I could imagine a women who has a tooth ache for a guise and she knows he has many women, but feels like she will be the one to change him (sounds like a banging blog). Let me tell you honey, he nor I will change until we are ready. This will not be due to the influence of another ( I won’t say never-ever, because life does throw her curve balls). Simply: BACK UP!!

NOV 16

So lately I haven’t been supremely annoyed, but truthfully I think I may have been ignoring it and now, today Tues November 16 it has surfaced. I REALLY REALLY hate when people expect you to be available to them, but they can not seem to return this! It’s like they only want to see you, hang out, go have drinks, sleep together, whatever it is that you all may do, but its on their terms. Shouldn’t relationships be reciprocal. Any relationships! Anyone that applies to you!! Co-workers, friends, romantic, non-romantic ETC. . .! I feel like I may put myself in a funky position when I like someone, and make myself slightly too available to them. It’s not even excessive availability, not every time you call do I come running, but I feel if you are “involved” with someone and you are use to seeing them three-four times a week and then all of a sudden is diminishes down to 1-2 and then ZERO, there is a problem, and I pull out. Or we talk everyday and that stops! And then when you want me you call and “CHARGE” me up for not answering or being that available. So to end it I PULLED OUT EARLY!! Here’s another squeak. . . DRUNKY MONKEYS!! I know I can get toasted, this last Saturday, I was a sumblelina ( stumbler+ ballrina), but I don’t lose my temper or become CRAZY. Some people need to get their drinking act together and stop being so delusional!!!PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN

APRIL 8, 2011

Is this really my first squeak of the year, now I find that to be very strange because I have been quite pissy for the past few weeks, I guess I have been sparing you with my complaints of the new year, but unfortunately all good things must come to pass and I’M BACK complaining my heart out. My squeak for this morning is WORK! Y’all know its times for a change when you are stuck in grid-lock traffic, like that kind that moves 2 miles/hr and you are happy because you have a legit excuse for spending less time at work and I would rather not work than make money now you know that’s serious because I love MONEY, its officially time for a change. I do have another squeak but MW made me promise not to make it viral. Its annoying when someone messes up and then they try to change it up on you, I refuse to deal with that type of individual and you will be sent to my block list in a jiffy, I have 13 vacancies left, who wants to join the party? “DI”, did, lol! I might be back later today, I’ll just call this the APRIL 8th AM edition

MAY 1, 2011

I feel like I have been slacking way too much on my beloved GUISEEVES, Ugh so that’s my first squeak of the month me and my slacking, my second would be working 6 days in a row!! That honestly is wayyy too much for me, I love my new job I truly do but Geez I’m pooped, my feet hurt like hell and I keep on soaking them hoping somehow that will work but nope still hurts. SO now I’ve moved on from last month of hating my old job to loving my new one but being tired, Ill take being tired over hating my environment!! LETS MAKE THIS MONEY HONEY

June 22, 2011

Okay so here’s my squeak. I hate bitches who try to act rude but do it in a passive aggressive way, and once they make their rude comment, they act as if “Oh was that mean”, okay look when I’m a bitch I’m trying to be a bitch,and if I say something out of context it’s blatant and on purpose. I knows its beyond generic and cliché to say “bitches be hating”, but dammit “Bitches be hating”! I swear there are moments in life when I’m like ‘Wow, i wish i had so and so. . ” but really im never jealous to the point that I act out. All i say handle your own business and mind your own business. BUHHHHHH BITCHES. . . . .

September 25, 2011

Does it not weird you out that people who are just common umm. . . commoners that truly think in their tiny narcissistic brains that they have actual“fans”, I thought that was for celebrities, you know the ones that are on TV and the radio!! I don’t know must just be me thinking crazy!

August 5, 2012

If you know me then you know I seriously have a chronic condition that is untreatable and un-curable, this disease is called lateness! I truly suck at time management when it doesn’t matter to me! Like if I care then for sure I’m on time, once I lose interest, nor benefiting me I just can’t be on time, with that said I understand why some of my friends (MW) would tell me to arrive somewhere like 20 before I need to be there but don’t you think an hour + is pushing it!!!!!!!! All I must say is bitch this is the reason why I’m always late, I hate waiting!! So now we are in a slippery slope and a revolving circle of wasted time! I could be at home watching Bad girls club and RHW Of New York while slipping into a Vicodin induced coma (the medicine is prescribed, dental work).

March 12, 2014

I find myself perplexed so often in this life. I’m confused when individuals complain about others incompetence, yet they find themselves so absorbed in the complaints that they themselves are equally lacking. Words of advice, focus on your own show.