Good Hygiene, What’s so damn difficult?

 

 

This evening, I took an breath-taking shower after the gym.  I laid in bed with only a towel and absorbed the good smells that were emitting out of my pores and I was in such solace. This started a topic in my mind: Why do some people not value hygiene as much as I do?

Now I know there are some folks who can not control their chronic body odor problems. Such as individuals with Bromhidrosis, also known as bromidrosis or body odor, is a common phenomenon in postpubertal individuals. In rare cases, bromhidrosis may become pathologic if it is particularly overpowering or if the bromhidrosis significantly interferes with the lives of the affected individuals. Bromhidrosis is a chronic condition in which excessive odor, usually an unpleasant one, emanates from the skin. Bromhidrosis, determined largely by apocrine gland secretion, can substantially impair a person’s quality of life.

I will eliminate these folks. That is no laughing matter and must be beyond frustrating. But, I’m talking about those folks who just choose to wake up and leave the house without showering and thinks it’s fair that you affect my nostrils sanity with your foul ass pits. It’s selfish!!!

  • If you don’t brush your teeth the moment you wake up and you check the clock and it’s 1pm—> brush your damn teeth

  • If you can physically see plaque in your teeth—-> brush your damn teeth
  • If you can smell your private parts through clothing —-> wash your ass 

  • If I can see debris in your ears from a foot away—> I don’t even understand how you can hear, but I know you can read this—> buy an earwax removal kit, then just start over with cu-tips. 

Ear Wax Removal Kit KIT by Nasaline 1 of 2<——- $27.00 and I know you have the money because you sure don’t have a high water bill.

  • If you haven’t showered in 24 hours—> wash your ass, I don’t care if you haven’t done anything but lay in bed, you still sweat. 

Keep Good Hygiene Step 3.jpg

  • If you are dating and sexually active —> please be fair and wash your parts, no one wants to taste the gym floor between your legs. As AW says, if it smells like earring back I’m not putting my tongue in that.

  • Grown men, basketball shorts are not underwear and especially ones that you know you haven’t washed in a week.—> first your too grown to have drawstrings under your jeans. 

It isn’t that hard to wash, realize that if you smell yourself then others do too. Just be fair. . .

WASH UP FOLKS

 

Donation Scams for Sandy Hook Victims

It deeply disturbs me that I must write this post; in every possible way, from the victims who died to the selfish greedy asinine imbeciles who create fake websites and PayPal accounts to STEAL money from the Sandy Hook victims families. A women from Bronx, New York, named NOUEL (NOEL) ALBA used her G-mail account to create a fake account in Noah Ponzer’s name (6-year-old victim), and was routing the payments that were made through PayPal to her personal checking account, gaining $300. At this point, these are speculations. CNN did go to her house and she did agree that it was her G-mail account and her “crafting-enemy’s” created this account to attack her, and after CNN visited her house, she returned the money. Now we can wait to see if the FBI confirms her as the true culprit but we all know her excuse is ridiculous. So as individual’s who are eager to donate funds to the victims families there are some tips that we must pay attention to. The following tips are from the Federal Trade Commission and the National Center For Disaster Preparedness:

  • Do not respond or open attachments from unsolicited emails claiming to be from charitable organizations.

  • Donate directly through the organization’s website. Do not follow links from emails to donation sites or allow an individual or third-party organization to make the donation on your behalf.

  • Do not send cash, money order, or wire transfers.

  • Contact the charity directly to authenticate the fundraiser (use a local or nationally recognized phone number, not the phone number listed in the email).

  • Validate the charity through sites like Give.org or the Better Business Bureau, especially if the soliciting organization has a name similar to that of a well-recognized organization.

  • Never divulge personal information such as your social security number.

  • Take notice of the organization’s web address. Most legitimate non-profit organizations end in .org, not .com.

  • Be wary of solicitations from those claiming to be surviving victims of a well-publicized disaster.

Some Legitimate Sites:

CNN.com/impact

noahpozner.org

https://www.facebook.com/EmilieParkerFund?ref=ts&fref=ts

https://www.facebook.com/FriendsOfTheEngelFamilyFund

https://www.facebook.com/pages/RIP-Noah-Pozner-Sandy-Hook-Massacre-Victim/395436313867989

http://noahsarkofhopefund.eventbrite.com/

http://www.newtownyouthandfamilyservices.org/index.php

http://www.savethechildren.org/site/c.8rKLIXMGIpI4E/b.8479773/k.2264/How_to_Help_Children_Cope_with_a_Crisis.htm

If you are unable to donate financially, there are other ways you can contribute, just visit CNN.com/impact

New Guise and EVES and the AGE OF AQUARIUS

I haven’t written on my blog in a while, I assume that I either lost interest or didn’t find it a priority. But, I turned a new leaf (AGAIN), I am the type of person who turns leafs and has epiphany’s every few days. I’ll blame that on my Caribbean heritage and genetics from the Mendes‘ and Paterson‘s, if you know them then you’ll get it. The blogs that I will be writing , will be similar to what I have written in the past, which is about men and women, but my perspective has change.  As I have evolved and aged, it is interesting to see how I have experienced and interpreted life.  Hey that’s maturity for your ass. (OH yeah that’s one thing that hasn’t changed I still cuss like a drunken sailor). So here’s to the new GUISEEVES. . . It is appropriate as the Age of Aquarius begins this month, actually 12-21-12, The DAY WE ALL SHALL DIEEEEEE!!!! OR as “Astrologers see the Age of Aquarius as being the age of computers, freedom, electricity, rebels, astrology, and humanitarianism, among others ideas. Some hope the age will bring in a time of philanthropy and peace, while others expect a time of unrest, nonconformity, and even rebellion. Some think man will leave earth and become decentralized as we spread across the galaxy. Many do not agree on what the Age of Aquarius 2012 beginning will bring to mankind, but all agree some kind of change is coming”

 WELCOME AGE OF AQUARIUS AND GUISEEVES

Overuse of “SMH”, “LOL” and “LMAO”, this shit is driving me crazy!!

English: LOL

English: LOL (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know I cannot be the only human being in this world that when they see this, it makes you want to add them to your block list:

This blog will be short and sweet, STOP FUCKING USING LOL, AND SMH THAT SHIT IS CORNY AND NEVER THAT FUCKING FUNNY NOR HEAD SHAKING CRAZY, EVER!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!

I MEAN HOW MANY OF YOU ACTUALLY SHAKE YOUR HEAD OFTEN IN THE REAL WORLD? I’M GOING TO DO RESEARCH.

THANKS FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION

LOVE ALWAYS,

SHAMEIKA, LOL!!!

oooo yess oooo yesss oooo yess, nope I still didn’t have one!!!!

Orgasm Inc. - The Strange Science of Female Pl...

Image by k-ideas via Flickr

Ladies ladies ladies. . .

Have you every had a partner who always thought that they were putting it on you but instead they were just laying on you. . . and these guys tend to be the ones with most sexual confidence!

“yeah baby, you had a orgasam right, I felt that”

“um. when. . . today? No”

“Are you sure, cause you were shaking”

“yeah, im sure, I was squirming for you to get off of me”

“ahh man, that’s weird, I mean I  always give you orgasms”

“who me?” Nah boo”

Men I think yall need a lil 101 on the female sexual organ ( and if you say “nah I got this”then you really need to read) so here we gooooo. . .

An orgasm isn’t that different from an electrical capacitor, building up arousal until a firing threshold is reached. Stop and she’ll return to her baseline — and you’ll start from scratch. Here’s how to create sparks every time.

 AROUSED

Sexual triggers, ( Kissing, Dancing, Money, Birkens, New Mercedes CL 550’s) unleash a cascade of physiological responses that begin to prepare her body for sex. Her body starts to lubricate the vaginal canal and inner labia. The brain orders the release of the chemical vasoactive intestinal peptide, which increases bloodflow to the pelvic area, swelling the inner and outer labia and causing her to feel sexual tension.

BODY UNWINDING

The parts of her brain that process fear and anxiety start to relax, and the uterus tips upward, making the vagina longer. (The process is called “tenting.”) The clitoris swells, as does the spongy tissue around the urethra, which is why some women feel as if they have to pee when aroused. Indirect touching of the clitoris will make her crave direct stimulation, adding fuel to her sexual-feedback loop. ( you can start oral at this point)

VITAL SIGNS INCREASE

As her heart rate and breathing speed up, pumping more blood to her extremities, the color of the labia deepens, and her clitoris — ultrasensitive at this point — extends, fully engorged, awaiting contact with your penis. Slow, steady stimulation that builds rhythmically will help coax her body toward the threshold to climax. The more anticipation she feels, the better she’ll respond. HINCE SLOWLY ( we dont need jack rabbits at this point)

NEARS HER THRESHOLD

The conscious part of her brain, drowning in neuro-transmitters, enters a trancelike state. Just prior to orgasm, the subconscious part — which also handles things like breathing and heartbeat — signals a vaginal nerve to start muscular contractions. You may feel the outer third of her vagina “grabbing” at your penis, but her arousal may fade and she will still revert to stage 1 if stimulation ceases or changes. ( So if you fuck up, start at oral again)

YES YES YES

The orgasmic stage: with rhythmic or sporadic contractions in the vagina, uterus, and anus — typically lasts 10 to 60 seconds. At this point, some women prefer more intense stimulation that matches their orgasmic response. The chemical oxytocin is released in the brain, promoting a feeling of closeness, according to some research — which could explain why she wants to cuddle after sex.

REST PERIOD

Unlike men, some women can have multiple orgasms without experiencing a refractory period after each one. Without stimulation, however, they will return to a base-line level of arousal. Contractions stop, the uterus lowers, and the clitoris goes back in its shell. Heart rate and breathing slow, and bloodflow returns to normal. The clitoris will probably be too sensitive for direct stimulation, but other parts of her body will be yearning for attention.

MORE TO COME FROM THIS TOPIC

Um Shameika you’re a Gold Digger. . . Who me?

Last week TK and were chit chatting over some much need convo and within our convo he asked me…

TK: “What’s the first thing you see in a man”

ME: “His watch. . .  there’s a lot you can tell about a man and his watch”

TK: “His watch? okay so whats the second thing you see?”

ME: “His shoes and then you know everything you need to know for now”

TK: Um. . . Shameika you’re a Gold Digger

Okay I let that comment simmer for a moment and then asked TK, why he thought so?

TK: You look at artificial things!!

Really TK that’s all you got?

I found that to be BULLSHIT!!

I asked him and he said…

TK:”I look at her Breast, then her whole body, the whole up and down and then if shes’ wearing open toe shoes,they need to be painted, and if  she can’t put some paint on, I mean damn some clear paint, sand ome lotion on her toes, I really want a girl who takes care of her self, I mean if she looks like a bum out then what does she look like at home, then I look at her butt and then I look for back fat, you can have a little back fat but not too much, I like legs thick but not too think”.

then he ends it  with: “we shouldnt be checking girls out we she really get to know her inside and hold a conversation, I mean you have to know who the current president is, unless you’re fine as hell then fuck it I don’t care be dumb”

(I THINK HES BATTLING SOMETHINGS)

I just want to know what is the whole phenomena with GUISE calling EVES gold diggers when they obviously don’t judge EVES the way THEY expect to be judged.

let’s define Gold digging: Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits.

I really want to take this back to evolution. . .

Men and women seek partners for different reason and have seperate standards for a desirable mate and these reason simple come down to reproduction. As unromantic and pragmatic as it may seem, nature’s programming of our brains to select out and respond to stimuli as sexually compelling or repelling simply makes good reproductive sense.

Men:

  • A preference for youth, however, is merely the most obvious of men’s preferences linked to a woman’s reproductive capacity. The younger the female the better the capacity for reproduction, hence attributes that men find attractive and contingent on signs of youthfulness.
  •  Our ancestors had access to two types of observable evidence of a woman’s health and youth: features of physical appearance, such as full lips, clear skin, smooth skin, clear eyes, lustrous hair, and good muscle tone
  •  Healthier and more youthful women are more likely to reproduce, and be able to take care of the children after birth, hence ensuring a perpetuation of the male’s gene.

Women:

  • Women are judicious, prudent, and discerning about the men they consent to mate with because they have so many valuable reproductive resources to offer
  •  Men produce sperm by the thousands, yet women produce about 400 eggs in their lifetime, and the trials of pregnancy and child rearing are long and arduous, hence their preferences and what they find sexually attractive in a male are based more on security and longevity of relationships.
  •  Athletic prowess is an important attribute to most women that hearkens back to the beginning of man.
  • An athletic and well-muscled male is more likely to be a good hunter hence give for a family. Large and athletic male can also provide physical protection from other males

This basic idea of what men and women find desirable has simply evolved into what we now see as a women gold digger and a picky male.

Women look for men who can take care of them:

– wealthy, which can be determined by their jobs, car, clothing, etc. . .

Men look for women who can make babies :

– sexy, curvaceous, attractive, desirable, etc. . .

So whats the problem with me wanting security in a partner and Guise wanting offspring?

Moscato d’Asti, Someone Please explain the obession!!

Moscato Madness April 9

Image by Fuzzytek via Flickr

Normally when something squeaks my breaks I put it in my ‘Squeaks my Breaks” page, but I feel that this topic needs its own space. . .

The Topic is Moscato d’ Asti, or simply know as Moscato.

Now we all know that the recent alcoholic bourgeois drink of choice has been MOSCATO, but why is the question that Ive been asking myself for over a year. I do remember Drake or Aubrey Graham rapping in Trey songz, song I invented sex, “It’s a celebration/ clap clap bravo/ lobster & shrimp & a glass of moscato…finish the whole bottle”, and bam all of a sudden its been on every club flyer and in every hoochies glass in the club but Drake cant get all of the props. Lets dig deeper.
  • In 2005, Kanye West special-ordered bottles of 2004 Saracco Moscato d’Asti for a party at a nightclub in Atlanta. He subsequently gave the wine a mention in a re-mixed version of Teairra Mari’s Make Her Feel Good: “Hypno, Cris though, I mean whatever Saracco Moscato it do taste better.”
  • Lil Kim‘s song Put your lighters up: “Still over in Brazil, Sipping moscato, You must have forgot though, So I’ma take it back to the block, yo.
Okay I don’t have a problem with Moscoato lets be honest it’s sweet and tasty, although I’m not into sweet drinks it’s pretty good (depending on the brand, and the free glasses they pass out in the hood clubs are not it), but  for a sweet wine, I prefer Riesling. “This social Phenomena is hilarious. . It starts in the Hip Hop community and then bam the companies of these wine growers are increasing their sales.
Quoting Napa-based importer of Saracco Dalla Terra founder and manager Brian Larky: ” We have seen significant sales in what I would consider to be a rap-friendly demographic, and I love it. Cross-pollinization if you will”
“Moscato’s flavor combination is a solid trinity for American consumers. It is “low alcohol, slightly sparkling and semi-sweet. It is in some ways the perfect combination for an exciting after-dinner drink,” noted Conway. “It is simple, straightforward stuff that isn’t too complex or too hard to grasp.”
Did you hear that LOW in Alcohol. AHHHH LOW, oh NOOOOOO!!!
Do you remember Courvoisier?

<iframe width=”425″ height=”349″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/JAYXRtNxsGA&#8221; frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

I remember asking TK to buy it just because of Busta Rhymes. Or when I was in high school and Rocafella was all crazy over Moet and Cristal. We had to buy some even if it was the fake. Then 2009 introduced the pink sparkly drink Nuvo, I just tried this for the first time this year ( way too weak for my type of drink). Oh yeah and I know all y’all remember Hyponic. . . I swear if you walked in a high school party with that blue bottle you were the coolest shit on earth!!!
But that high-school attitude of being cool cause your drinking what the cool, tight t-shirt, rappers are talking about, is the same attitude of these grown ass Diva’s and Divo’s in the club . . .
Let”s be real, Its a low in Alcohol, dessert wine that has blow up because the new cool rapper drake said“It’s a celebration/ clap clap bravo/ lobster & shrimp & a glass of moscato…finish the whole bottle”.  and now I can find this wine in every Hip Hop club, fuck that every club but I cant get a damn glass of Riesling or a Kettle One and Tonic. . .  Can someone rap about Kettle One or a Riesling, PLEASE!!

Whatever drink what ya drink. . . Have fun and drive safely. . . I guess you will because it’s low in alcohol. .  bahahahaha!!!!

NAKED PRIVATE PHOTOS?

Sexting

Image by PaDumBumPsh via Flickr

Calculator SAFE – Protect Private Photo & Documents

Are you the type that likes to text SEXY, NUDE, and of course PRIVATE text to your “friends”. OR maybe you and your sex buddy are getting it on you don’t mind them taking pictures of your “private” parts. I mean there’s nothing wrong with it really, right? You’re both consenting adults and sometimes you might want to take a quick look at your sexy naked sex buddy while you are at work. BUT how long do you think the receiver of the photos will keep your photos. You see I’m a bit naive and I assumed that the photos would last as long as you two are together. See, this is my reasoning, when you and you sexting buddy break up, you’ll start a new relationship and being caught with you ex-boo-thangs sexy photos, probably wont sit well with your new boo-thang. But guess what? I’VE BEEN EDUCATED!!! Well, with all this technology and all these creepers that live in our world, I’m not sure why this little thing wasn’t thought of before. Okay well, I’m sure its been thought of but I bet they didn’t have the money to create it.  So on these cool smartphones that we all own, There’s this oh soo sneaky app that acts like a calculator but really is a file that hides all of your creepy private shit. (and if you still own a Nokia or any flip phone of any kind shame on you, lame ass!!)

iPhone Screenshot 1

My good friend CR, was my educator. A few weeks back we where chit-chatting over some drinks and he pulled up this app on his IPad (After I begged a little), and he showed me easily over 70 pictures of naked women in all types of angles. Pictures they sent him, pictures he has taken of them, just tons and tons of naked photos. and this was only a fraction of the pictures.

iPhone Screenshot 3

iPhone Screenshot 4

Let’s clear this up, he is roughly good guy, yet perverted and doesn’t  send them nor show them to everyone. We are good friends and of course I wouldn’t let the girls know I saw them nor did I even recognize one girl.

All I have to say is if your going to send naked pictures,don’t show your face!!!

Mr. Married was hiding the wedding ring.

At work, I come across a of plenitude men trying to surprise their wives with luxuriant gifts.  Most of the men act accordingly towards the women in my department because they are there for their spouses, but you will come across a few that will try to act inappropriately. Well today I came across one of those few.

Here’s my story:

I was looking extra bored, well because I was. It was a beyond slow day at work! So in my boredom, my face turns from Happy-I’m-Making-Money to Miserable-I”m-wasting-my-time, a middle-aged gentlemen, passes me by and acts interested in our merchandise and proceeds to slightly flirt by telling me to smile and to continuously say in a bit of a baby voice, “come on, show me a smile, it’s okay show me a smile”.   (Oh yeah and if you read my first blog, I fucking hate baby voices). I gave him a fake smirk and he proceeded to fake an interest in our stuff and then he left.
First if you are in my department as a man you are buying for a women (mom, sister, wife, girlfriend, co-worker etc.) , and as a women who is single, I always, let me repeat that loudly, ALWAYS look for a wedding ring. drum roll. . .  I found one!
So Mr. Married came back to my department but this time with two boys following, and once again I had the I’m-Miserable-I”m-wasting-my-time face. Before walking back over me he told his sons to walk ahead ( so they wouldn’t see him talking to random women), and started to flirt.  I noticed this time he was hiding his hand with the ring on it. When I noticed that it made me cringe!

Now the ending could have went two different ways:

1) I could flirt back, exchange numbers and swindle money from him
2) I could looked like an uninterested bitch and point to his children and say. . .” Hmm. . .  they have waited for a while, you might want to catch up with them”

I opted for the second!!

But married men try to lurk their prey and see which ones are down for the deceitful ride. . .  Some women are down with that, and I can’t judge, but I am way too selfish for that, I like access to my man when I want him, even children are an issue (SN). So if you are buying for you wives or girlfriends back the fuck up!!!! I don’t need angry women trying to kill, chop-up and BAR-B-QUE me at my place of work. And lets say I’m down for the ride, You need to set me up in a $1.9m condo with a $100,000 allowance per/ month. If not. . .  once again. . . BACK THE FUCK UP!!