Image by PaDumBumPsh via Flickr

Calculator SAFE – Protect Private Photo & Documents

Are you the type that likes to text SEXY, NUDE, and of course PRIVATE text to your “friends”. OR maybe you and your sex buddy are getting it on you don’t mind them taking pictures of your “private” parts. I mean there’s nothing wrong with it really, right? You’re both consenting adults and sometimes you might want to take a quick look at your sexy naked sex buddy while you are at work. BUT how long do you think the receiver of the photos will keep your photos. You see I’m a bit naive and I assumed that the photos would last as long as you two are together. See, this is my reasoning, when you and you sexting buddy break up, you’ll start a new relationship and being caught with you ex-boo-thangs sexy photos, probably wont sit well with your new boo-thang. But guess what? I’VE BEEN EDUCATED!!! Well, with all this technology and all these creepers that live in our world, I’m not sure why this little thing wasn’t thought of before. Okay well, I’m sure its been thought of but I bet they didn’t have the money to create it.  So on these cool smartphones that we all own, There’s this oh soo sneaky app that acts like a calculator but really is a file that hides all of your creepy private shit. (and if you still own a Nokia or any flip phone of any kind shame on you, lame ass!!)

iPhone Screenshot 1

My good friend CR, was my educator. A few weeks back we where chit-chatting over some drinks and he pulled up this app on his IPad (After I begged a little), and he showed me easily over 70 pictures of naked women in all types of angles. Pictures they sent him, pictures he has taken of them, just tons and tons of naked photos. and this was only a fraction of the pictures.

iPhone Screenshot 3

iPhone Screenshot 4

Let’s clear this up, he is roughly good guy, yet perverted and doesn’t  send them nor show them to everyone. We are good friends and of course I wouldn’t let the girls know I saw them nor did I even recognize one girl.

All I have to say is if your going to send naked pictures,don’t show your face!!!

Mr. Married was hiding the wedding ring.

At work, I come across a of plenitude men trying to surprise their wives with luxuriant gifts.  Most of the men act accordingly towards the women in my department because they are there for their spouses, but you will come across a few that will try to act inappropriately. Well today I came across one of those few.

Here’s my story:

I was looking extra bored, well because I was. It was a beyond slow day at work! So in my boredom, my face turns from Happy-I’m-Making-Money to Miserable-I”m-wasting-my-time, a middle-aged gentlemen, passes me by and acts interested in our merchandise and proceeds to slightly flirt by telling me to smile and to continuously say in a bit of a baby voice, “come on, show me a smile, it’s okay show me a smile”.   (Oh yeah and if you read my first blog, I fucking hate baby voices). I gave him a fake smirk and he proceeded to fake an interest in our stuff and then he left.
First if you are in my department as a man you are buying for a women (mom, sister, wife, girlfriend, co-worker etc.) , and as a women who is single, I always, let me repeat that loudly, ALWAYS look for a wedding ring. drum roll. . .  I found one!
So Mr. Married came back to my department but this time with two boys following, and once again I had the I’m-Miserable-I”m-wasting-my-time face. Before walking back over me he told his sons to walk ahead ( so they wouldn’t see him talking to random women), and started to flirt.  I noticed this time he was hiding his hand with the ring on it. When I noticed that it made me cringe!

Now the ending could have went two different ways:

1) I could flirt back, exchange numbers and swindle money from him
2) I could looked like an uninterested bitch and point to his children and say. . .” Hmm. . .  they have waited for a while, you might want to catch up with them”

I opted for the second!!

But married men try to lurk their prey and see which ones are down for the deceitful ride. . .  Some women are down with that, and I can’t judge, but I am way too selfish for that, I like access to my man when I want him, even children are an issue (SN). So if you are buying for you wives or girlfriends back the fuck up!!!! I don’t need angry women trying to kill, chop-up and BAR-B-QUE me at my place of work. And lets say I’m down for the ride, You need to set me up in a $1.9m condo with a $100,000 allowance per/ month. If not. . .  once again. . . BACK THE FUCK UP!!