Its has occurred to me on Saturday night, while my girlfriend was getting wine-glass-dropping-trashed that women may have ruled out the more “traditional” forms of courtship and evolved into this “modern” mentality.
So what happened on that drunken night that made my mind hurt and forced me to drink just three extra Jack and Cokes ( I’m a gangsta, I can drink anyone under the table, “as I’m falling from the sides of my chair like a drunky monkey”, ha).
Okay so I was just chilaxing at the bar, swaying from side to side, trying to be a calm drunk instead of my fall-on-my-back-wasted-self, working on drink numero 2 bud light, as I see a friend approach the bar with a quite attractive EVE. She was pretty hot, you know good body, face etc. Normally, when a Guise and Eve approach the bar together he orders the drink, hands it to the Eve, he pays and they resume their conversation, continue to dance or separate from one another.
But his time it was a bit different. The Eve lead the walk toward the bar, leaned over and asked the Guise what he was drinking, she told the bartender, handed him the drink and she opened her wallet and payed. I sat there for a second and started to think hmm. . . I know this is not his girlfriend, nor an Eve he is dating but just Eve whom he met at the bar and she was buying the drinks.
Of course, I HAD to open my mouth, because I have a generic brand water filter (you know the $8 one from Walgreens, which insist in its directions, that you use ice while drinking the water) of a mouth. I had to ask, “So you got it like that GW?”, “Damn playa, do your thing”, he just shrugged his shoulders and giggled at me (cocky little sucker). I know I was being to nosey but it was such a foreign site to me.
Now Guise I’m not saying I have never bought a guise a drink before, I have, including dinner and the movie and whatever date stuff involves, but that Guise was my boyfriend! I really don’t mind spending money on my man, ask TK! But, just not a fella I see from across the bar. To walk a strange man at the bar, open my wallet and hand him a drink is just not in this gals DNA.
In my group of GOLD DIGGERS aka friends (Yes we do like gold, platinum, diamonds, Gucci, Prada and Fogo De Chao, yumm churrascaria steakhouses!!! ), we just naturally expect the man to by the drinks and we would never, and let me stress NEVER offer a man at the bar a drink.
A 2001 report commissioned by the Independent Women’s Forum based on research by the Institute for American Values called “Hooking Up, Hanging Out and Hoping for Mr. Right, illustrates how women feel about who pays. . . They find that the result vary some say; “I do not feel comfortable at all letting them pay so usually I will pay for my half and they will pay for their half.”/ “Personally, I think… half and half because it’s a first date. Later on in the relationship you could have him pay, but on the first date, you should go half and half. . . I pay my way”/ Like I’ve dated guys in the past where [they are] like, ‘I [i.e., the guy] must pay for everything’… We would be walking down the street and I would get a slurpee and they’d be like ‘No, I must pay’… [And then I would say] ‘No, I will pay for the slurpee’ and [they’re] like okay, fine.”/ “I usually like to have guys pay for me if they’re going to take me out… it’s old-fashioned… some girls, like they’re always paying and I don’t understand that.” / “I know some females … [who are] like I don’t know if he’s paying and… let me bring some extra money.”/ “He’s the one who has to pay,” but then changed her mind: “Well, no, I’m being very different now. Now I’m treating… I know some people are all about, he has to pay, and otherwise he’s cheap. Not me.”
After reading some of these EVE’s responses you can see that some appreciate the traditional style of courtship but many appreciate their women power.
All of this really started to make me question myself and my bias’, women who feel so confident in their women-hood, in which they approach a man from across the bar, make the first move, call him, set up the date and pick up the bill, It’s not so bad!!
My question: Does that make you a forward moving, modern, independent, empowered woman? My answer: Yes
Honestly, its still not my type of a good time, but if you like it go for it!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Maybe, this thing might be okay, I mean it works on Eves. If a guise offers me a drink I’m less reluctant to make fun of him!
I know the Guise must love it:
– “free drinks”
-“this woman is actually attracted to me and I didn’t put on my fake disguise yet. . . Yes . . . she’s a keeper”
-“OMG, this never happens, I’m so excited”
OR maybe. . .
-” ah look at this loser, but the drink is free”
-“Shit I hope she doesn’t follow me all night”
I guess it varies on the Guise and the attractiveness of the EVE!
Now I’m thinking, if she was unattractive to my standards of attraction, I would have never thought anything of the situation, because I would of dismissed her as a desperate cubby loser but because she was quite pretty, it through me for a loop.
Maybe I’ll try this next weekend and see how it makes me feel. . .
- Man outraged after buying drinks for ‘women’ who turned out to be men (hointervention.com)
- Why Women are More Likely to Drink (psychworld.com)
- The Effects of Alcohol on Women (everydayhealth.com)