Hey Guise what would you like to drink?

Cocktail Essentials

Image by DOS82 via Flickr

Its has occurred to me on Saturday night, while my girlfriend was getting wine-glass-dropping-trashed that women may have ruled out the more “traditional” forms of courtship and evolved into this “modern” mentality.

So what happened on that drunken night that made my mind hurt and forced me to drink just three extra Jack and Cokes ( I’m a gangsta, I can drink anyone under the table, “as I’m falling from the sides of my chair like a drunky monkey”, ha).

Okay so I was just chilaxing at the bar, swaying from side to side, trying to be a calm drunk instead of my fall-on-my-back-wasted-self, working on drink numero 2 bud light, as I see a friend approach the bar with a quite attractive EVE. She was pretty hot, you know good body, face etc. Normally, when a Guise and Eve approach the bar together he orders the drink, hands it to the Eve, he pays and they resume their conversation, continue to dance or separate from one another.

But his time it was a bit different. The Eve lead the walk toward the bar, leaned over and asked the Guise what he was drinking, she told the bartender, handed him the drink and she opened her wallet and payed. I sat there for a second and started to think hmm. . . I know this is not his girlfriend, nor an Eve he is dating but just Eve whom he met at the bar and she was buying the drinks.

Of course, I HAD to open my mouth, because I have a generic brand water filter (you know the $8 one from Walgreens, which insist in its directions, that you use ice while drinking the water) of a mouth. I had to ask, “So you got it like that GW?”, “Damn playa, do your thing”, he just shrugged his shoulders and giggled at me (cocky little sucker).  I know I was being to nosey but it was such a foreign site to me.

Now Guise I’m not saying I have never bought a guise a drink before, I have, including dinner and the movie and whatever date stuff involves, but that Guise was my boyfriend! I really don’t mind spending money on my man, ask TK! But, just not a fella I see from across the bar.  To walk a strange man at the bar, open my wallet and hand him a drink is just not in this gals DNA.

In my group of GOLD DIGGERS aka friends (Yes we do like gold, platinum, diamonds, Gucci, Prada and Fogo De Chao, yumm churrascaria steakhouses!!! ), we just naturally expect the man to by the drinks and we would never, and let me stress NEVER offer a man at the bar a drink.

A 2001 report commissioned by the Independent Women’s Forum based on research by the Institute for American Values called “Hooking Up, Hanging Out and Hoping for Mr. Right, illustrates how women feel about who pays. . . They find that the result vary some say; “I do not feel comfortable at all letting them pay so usually I will pay for my half and they will pay for their half.”/ “Personally, I think… half and half because it’s a first date. Later on in the relationship you could have him pay, but on the first date, you should go half and half. . . I pay my way”/ Like I’ve dated guys in the past where [they are] like, ‘I [i.e., the guy] must pay for everything’… We would be walking down the street and I would get a slurpee and they’d be like ‘No, I must pay’… [And then I would say] ‘No, I will pay for the slurpee’ and [they’re] like okay, fine.”/ “I usually like to have guys pay for me if they’re going to take me out… it’s old-fashioned… some girls, like they’re always paying and I don’t understand that.” / “I know some females … [who are] like I don’t know if he’s paying and… let me bring some extra money.”/ “He’s the one who has to pay,” but then changed her mind: “Well, no, I’m being very different now. Now I’m treating… I know some people are all about, he has to pay, and otherwise he’s cheap. Not me.”

After reading some of these EVE’s responses you can see that some appreciate the traditional style of courtship but many appreciate their women power.

All of this really started to make me question myself and my bias’, women who  feel so confident in their women-hood, in which they approach a man from across the bar,  make the first move, call him, set up the date and pick up the bill, It’s not so bad!!

My question:  Does that make you a forward moving, modern, independent, empowered woman? My answer: Yes

Honestly, its still not my type of a good time, but if you like it go for it!


Maybe, this thing might be okay, I mean it works on Eves. If a guise offers me a drink I’m less reluctant to make fun of him!

I know the Guise must love it:

– “free drinks”

-“this woman is actually attracted to me and I didn’t put on my fake disguise yet. . . Yes . . .  she’s a keeper”

-“OMG, this never happens, I’m so excited”

OR maybe. . .

-” ah look at this loser, but the drink is free”

-“Shit I hope she doesn’t follow me all night”

I guess it varies on the Guise and the attractiveness of the EVE!

Now I’m thinking, if she was unattractive to my standards of attraction, I would have never thought anything of the situation, because I would of dismissed her as a desperate  cubby loser but because she was quite pretty, it through me for a loop.

Maybe I’ll try this next weekend and see how it makes me feel. . .

*****************Updates coming********************************************************

JOSPH KONY. . . If you dont know who he is then you need to know!

Joseph Kony

Joseph Kony

The best way I can explain this man is if IDI AMIN and Osama Bin Ladin had a baby together it would be Joseph Kony!

But if your dying for facts , here you go. . .

Please check out this interview:

Joseph KonyBorn: 18-Sep1964
Birthplace: Atyak, Uganda

Gender: Male
Religion: Cult
Race or Ethnicity: Black
Sexual orientation: Straight
Occupation: Criminal, Military, Religion

Nationality: Uganda
Executive summary: Lord’s Resistance Army in Uganda

Joseph Kony considers himself quite a good Christian, and he wants Uganda to be a Christian nation. So in 1987 he formed a resistance group called the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA), and the LRA has been at civil war against the Ugandan government ever since. If the LRA wins, Kony has promised that Uganda will become a theocracy, with laws based on the Biblical Ten Commandments.

Kony’s LRA has kidnapped an estimated 20,000 children for use as fighters or sex slaves. As part of their initiation, these children are often required to kill their own parents, so they’ll have no homes to return to. (It’s not clear which of the Ten Commandments Kony’s strategy is based on.) Once kidnapped, children are used as pack mules, carrying LRA supplies until they are too weak to walk, at which time they’re killed or simply left to die. Kidnapped boys also serve as targets and decoys, sent to the front lines — unarmed — whenever the Ugandan Army engages the LRA. Kidnapped girls that Kony or his senior commanders find attractive become their “wives” (Kony is reputed to have 60). Troublesome captives have their noses, lips, and/or ears cut off, and are then made to eat their own flesh.

Kony and the Ugandan government occasionally issue public statements suggesting that peace negotiations would be welcome, but this seems unlikely. When asked about peace talks recently, Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni said Kony and the LRA’s senior commanders must die. “The wages of sin is death”, he added. And that’s Biblical, too.

As a youngster, Kony was a Catholic altar boy. Now he says he gets strategic advice from angels. There are eight of these angels, he says — three American, two Sudanese, two Chinese, and one Congolese.

Kony is reported to enjoy wearing women’s dresses. The Ugandan Army has offered an $11,000 reward for information leading to Kony’s capture. That’s right: eleven thousand dollars.


“The Lord’s Resistance Army is led by Joseph Kony, a former altar boy, self-styled mystic, demonically inspired medium, ruthless leader, and merciless person who has brought Northern Uganda to a virtual standstill. People are frozen in fear, commerce has become non-existent, fields go fallow, villages have been decimated, and children have grown up without a future or hope. There is no peace from Lira to Gulu and all points in-between.

Joseph Kony comes from the Acholi area of Uganda.  His niece is  Alice Lakwena, who led thousands of disaffected Acholi soldiers into battle against President Museveni, who had defeated their army. Soldiers were led to believe by Alice Lakwena that holy oil would keep bullets away, songs would slay their enemy, sticks would become swords, and rocks would turn into grenades and mortars.  Alice Lakwena—her last name means messenger—was certainly a warrior priestess.  Joseph Kony took upon himself her mantle of leadership, but the two were miles apart in their ways.

Lira, located 215 miles north of Kampala, was one of those sleepy towns in Africa where you could simply be.  It hardly made the international news, and one of the few articles I read about it was in “BBC – Focus on Africa,” where it described its background and culture and went to great lengths to describe Lira-Lira, a local potent drink.  Its other claim to fame is that the former President Milton Obote had his home here, which you can still see, or what is left of it.

Lately, Lira is making news around the world.  It is not so much the things the people of the town are doing, but what is being done to them by this wild-eyed jok (jok is a spirit, good or bad) by the name of Joseph Kony, whose Lord’s Resistance Army has been raiding villages, towns, and camps of refuge that have become camps of death and destruction.

War in itself is bad, but this conflict has been going on for 18 years with no resolve in sight.  This war is hellish in that the Joseph Kony’s army recruits its soldiers from the villages and schools of northern Uganda through abductions.  Thousands of children have been robbed of childhood and, in many cases, of life itself.  Boys and girls are turned into ruthless killers who no longer feel, but are numbed within, and their souls have become seared by the atrocities they have seen and in which they have forced to participate.

Children 10 years old are taught to kill, often beginning with their own families.  Others are killed and a child is let to live and then the child is commanded to kill in order to stay alive.  If children do escape, they will never be the same again.

Joseph Kony claims to want to make Uganda into a state based on the Ten Commandments, but he has broken every one of them. Today no one thinks Kony and his movement represents a loving God and Christianity or Islam, but all know it is about demonic control of children, boys and girls, young men and women, doing the bidding of a crazy man. Many of the leaders in his army were abducted 10 or 12 years ago, but have known nothing else but death and destruction.

In Lira, the name of Joseph Kony and his army of child warriors is dreaded. The town that was on the verge of blossoming in the Northern Ugandan savannah has shriveled up and died.  There is fear and anger, thousands more people are without the services so desperately needed.  Hospitals and clinics are without medicine.  There is a lack of food and water, medical care. But thousands are flocking in for safety; tens of thousands want to remain near just to be safe.  Lira, that jewel of the north, has become a scorched piece of real estate and unless a miracle takes place there is no hope.

The most recent atrocity was 200 people killed when a refugee camp was overrun by the LRA.  The defense militia was helpless and the army far away.  President Museveni came and blamed Kony’s army.  Kony’s army is a rag tag group of children that believes in the mystical powers of their leader, children who run into the line of fire believing that the bullets can do no harm, and their weapons are often from the Sudanese military.  The Ugandan Army, on the other hand, are for the most part adult men, well equipped and trained, who have helicopters, trucks and tanks but no victory. After 18 years, this war goes on and now Lira is another city dying in the north of Uganda.

Lira and the Kony Rebels is a never-ending story of children dying, of children being abducted, a loss of childlike innocence, and yet no one seems to care, it is just another story from Africa.  Here in northern Uganda there is no Amber alert, there no news headlines across the bottom of  Television screens, there is only the silence after another town or school are raided and children are taken.  The reads something here and there about this situation.  They may think it is interesting, sad, horrendous,  but still, like in the in Congo, like in Sudan, like it was in Rwanda, Liberia and Sierra Leone, it is only Africans killing Africans and no one cares, after all the world stood still in the spring of 1994, and been for the most part inactive in regards to Sudan. Here we are in  Uganda, East Africa with no Interpol alert;  no helicopters out searching for one abducted child, much less 20,000 abducted children.  There are no hourly updates, just President Museveni who periodically says that Joseph Kony and his children’s army will be defeated, even he is trying to get UN help.

Lira today is overwhelmed with people who have fled there to find a place of refuge, to find safety from the threat of the Lord’s Resistance Army.  The town has been become overcrowded with ten of thousand of refugees seeking protection, needing food, shelter and medical attention.  I recently read the appeal of the Mayor of Lira for help, food, tents, and medicine since the local hospital and clinics were simply without.

Is there a solution to the problem to “the war in the north?”  That is how this conflict is referred to in Uganda.  There are solutions, from military ones that have not yet succeeded, to one of cutting off the bases and support in Sudan by the Sudanese government.  There is the one attempted by religious leaders of  northern Uganda, the one of a treaty leading to a peaceful resolution.  None of them have yet worked, but people still need relief, still need food and shelter, medicines and care written by David Nyekorach- Matsanga Leader of the LRA Peace Delegation and Chief Negotiator.  Interesting propaganda read with supposed quotes from Joseph Kony.