Relationship New Years Resolutions!!!

So we all have our New Year Resolutions, Here’s a few of mine. . .

– Drinking only twice a week, once on the weekend and once during the week

– Leave all of my male friends in the past ( well some of them)

– This is for CB and GC, 20 dollar, two person bowl limit!! I hope I win!!

Any frustration that I have with anyone, ANYONE including EM, EW, TK and RP is left in 2010, ugh this one is hard but must be done.

Okay so you see I have some resolutions to work on, but what about our Relationship Resolutions, and this is not necessarily for the people who are in romantic relationships but for everyone (outside, in between and around).

So here are some of my resolutions for you-all-types-of-relationship-people . . .

1. Focus more on yourself to focus better on the other. If you cannot assess your personal needs how could you fulfill another.

2.  Cut out the bickering. If you and the other are prone to arguing, you are probably doing so because you are protecting yourself against being hurt, you either need to figure this relationship out or move on.

3.  Love is not a cure-all.  Love is NOT the medicine for all your emotional hardships.

4.  Availability ( single people). Go out and meet new people, do not give up hope.

5. Focus on now and the future. Let your baggage go, learn from your mistakes and gain new experiences.

6.  Be realistic about your finances. Don’t spend more than you can on dates, and proving that you love the other with lavish gifts that are outside of your budget, MONEY is a bitch, she will fuck you, show you a good time and leave your ass solo dolo.

7. Trust yourself. Let’s try to listen to your gut feelings and not those of your boys and girlfriends, sometimes they cloud your judgment. Not to say they are not helpful, but you know when to trust yourself.

8.  Commit to yourself. Make yourself happy, in any way you see fit.

But for now. . .



Eves who “forgive” Guise, is it true forgiveness?

You may have noticed that I put FORGIVE in quotation marks! But why?

lets define forgiveness—->

  • The term ‘forgive’ derives from ‘give’ or to ‘grant’, as in ‘to give up,’ or ‘cease to harbor (resentment, wrath).’ More specifically, ‘forgive’ refers to the act of giving up a feeling, such as resentment, or a compensation. And the term ‘forgiveness’ is defined as the action of forgiving, pardoning of a fault, remission of a debt, and similar responses to injury, wrongdoing, or obligation.
  • Forgiveness, as Jesus did on the cross when he was slandered and crucified. Jesus’ agonizing words from the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,”
  • Forgiveness. . . By choosing to forgive, we choose intentionally not to perpetuate the cycle of violence and revenge.
  • Gandhi once said that “an eye for an eye leaves both eyes blind.” Forgiveness allows us to replace “an eye for an eye” with “an eye for a heart.”
  • Forgiveness does not mean that we cannot or should not defend ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean that we condone destructive behavior. Forgiveness does not even mean that we must reconcile ourselves with the perpetrator. Forgiveness means that we

    take stock of what has happened, we grieve our losses, and we deliberately make the world a better place by not repaying violence for violence.

  • We commit ourselves to releasing our own grudges and grievances and to teach our parishes to do so as well.
  • Finally, we commit to learn how to forgive; whether that is through prayer or to partner with those who have proven methods so that forgiveness becomes more common in this world than anger and revenge.

As you may have noticed forgiveness is an extremely complex term/emotion. Is it ever possible to fully forgive, as forgiveness is stated above.

I know women who have been in relationships, in which, infidelity, deception and betrayal were committed, as we all know it is not an easy thing to overcome. But, most I have noticed were able to stay with their significant other (husband/boyfriend). I have also noticed that TRUE forgiveness was not apart of their relationship. There relationships seem destructive to themselves. There is the public fighting, deriding him to their friends, sleepless nights. The only way to overcome this is reconciliation. There must be reconciliation!!! If you are injured by the other, one could say that you two are pushed part by the injury, so to simply become friendly with one another, you all must repair the gap by reconciliation: coming from the Latin words “again” and “conciliare” meaning “to bring together”.



The act of reconciliation involves two parts: forgiveness and penance!!!!!!


Forgiveness can be difficult for many people simply because they are not clear about what forgiveness really is. All too often forgiveness gets confused with reconciliation, a larger process of which forgiveness is but one part. And all too often, reconciliation fails. So what does that do to your ability to forgive?

In this world you will likely come across many persons who refuse to make penance for their injurious acts.  

You, as the victim, can still forgive anyone, forgiveness does not involve letting the person off the hook, or does your forgiving someone mean that you must be reconciled with that person . . .  forgiveness is always your choice.

There can be one major psychological complication in regard to


You cannot forgive someone until you have fully felt the pain they have caused you

“Imagine the person who says, “I’m at peace with what happened. I’m OK with it. Actually, it doesn’t even bother me. But my life is still miserable. What do I do now?”

If you find yourself in this position, in effect saying, “No, it doesn’t bother me. . . but I’m still miserable,” it is a good psychological clue that there is still something missing. Usually, this means that you’re still denying your unconscious anger and resentment, so even though you think you’ve come to terms with what happened, there are still emotions about the event which you have pushed out of awareness. In fact, many people can get caught up in this premature forgiveness as a way to avoid coping with all the unpleasant emotions they would rather not examine.

This can be extremely frustrating because unconscious resentments are essentially invisible to logic and reason. Because they represent things you would rather not see, they can be discovered only indirectly—such as when they continue to cause discomfort even though it seems that everything should be OK.

“So remember that if anyone has ever hurt you, you don’t find forgiveness, you give it.”

“If you have ever hurt others, all you can do is feel sorrow for your behavior; in sorrow, you can apologize, and you can make amends, but whether or not others forgive you is their choice.”

By Choosing to Forgive, We Choose Not to Perpetuate Cycle of Revenge. Contributors: Lyndon Harris – author. Magazine Title: Anglican Journal. Volume: 132. Issue: 7. Publication Date: September 2006. Page Number: 15. © 2006 Anglican Church of Canada. Provided by ProQuest LLC. All Rights Reserved.(Harris 15)



World AIDS Day – December 1, 2010



Smart Investments: Building on Success

On World AIDS Day, we pay tribute to the millions of people living with HIV/AIDS worldwide and continue to spread the word that in spite of much success, too many lives are still being devastated by this deadly disease. Our task looms large, but our message is simple: We have a shared responsibility to build on the success achieved to date by making smart investments that will ultimately save more lives.

World AIDS Day - December 1, 2010


Useful facts about ONE and PEPFAR (President’s Emergency Plan for

 AIDS Relief)


  • American Leadership to fight extreme poverty and disease, supported by Democrats, Republicans, and Independents, has helped save millions of lives from HIV/AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis and other diseases


  • Programs like PEPFAR and the Global Fund fight AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria, have contributed to putting nearly 4 million people living with HIV/AIDS in sub-Saharian Africa (5.25 million globally) on life-saving medicines, up from just 50,000 people in 2002.


  • IN 2008, HIV/AIDS killed 2 million people, 1.4 million of whom were living in sub-Subharan Africa. MAjor progress has been made in delivering life-saving treatment for people living with HIV/AIDS, but more than 10 million people in Africa are in need of treatment still


  • HIV infection rates are far outpacing the number of people added to treatment. For everyone person that gains access to treatment more than two people are newly infected with the virus everyday.


  • in 2008, more than 100,000 ONE members wrote letters, made phone calls, and signed petitions to get PEPFAR through the House and past the block placed on it by a handful of opponents in the Senate. In the end, ONE members’ efforts helped PEPFAR to pass


  • In addition to getting treatment to AIDS patients who need it most, the program also contains string increases in investment for fighting TB and malaria, two diseases at their most devastating in the world’s poorest countries.