You may have noticed that I put FORGIVE in quotation marks! But why?
lets define forgiveness—->
As you may have noticed forgiveness is an extremely complex term/emotion. Is it ever possible to fully forgive, as forgiveness is stated above.
I know women who have been in relationships, in which, infidelity, deception and betrayal were committed, as we all know it is not an easy thing to overcome. But, most I have noticed were able to stay with their significant other (husband/boyfriend). I have also noticed that TRUE forgiveness was not apart of their relationship. There relationships seem destructive to themselves. There is the public fighting, deriding him to their friends, sleepless nights. The only way to overcome this is reconciliation. There must be reconciliation!!! If you are injured by the other, one could say that you two are pushed part by the injury, so to simply become friendly with one another, you all must repair the gap by reconciliation: coming from the Latin words “again” and “conciliare” meaning “to bring together”.
ABOVE MUST APPLY: IF YOU DECIDE TO RETURN TO YOUR
The act of reconciliation involves two parts: forgiveness and penance!!!!!!
IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO, PAY ATTENTION BELOW!!!
Forgiveness can be difficult for many people simply because they are not clear about what forgiveness really is. All too often forgiveness gets confused with reconciliation, a larger process of which forgiveness is but one part. And all too often, reconciliation fails. So what does that do to your ability to forgive?
In this world you will likely come across many persons who refuse to make penance for their injurious acts.
You, as the victim, can still forgive anyone, forgiveness does not involve letting the person off the hook, or does your forgiving someone mean that you must be reconciled with that person . . . forgiveness is always your choice.
There can be one major psychological complication in regard to
You cannot forgive someone until you have fully felt the pain they have caused you
“Imagine the person who says, “I’m at peace with what happened. I’m OK with it. Actually, it doesn’t even bother me. But my life is still miserable. What do I do now?”
If you find yourself in this position, in effect saying, “No, it doesn’t bother me. . . but I’m still miserable,” it is a good psychological clue that there is still something missing. Usually, this means that you’re still denying your unconscious anger and resentment, so even though you think you’ve come to terms with what happened, there are still emotions about the event which you have pushed out of awareness. In fact, many people can get caught up in this premature forgiveness as a way to avoid coping with all the unpleasant emotions they would rather not examine.
This can be extremely frustrating because unconscious resentments are essentially invisible to logic and reason. Because they represent things you would rather not see, they can be discovered only indirectly—such as when they continue to cause discomfort even though it seems that everything should be OK.
“So remember that if anyone has ever hurt you, you don’t find forgiveness, you give it.”
“If you have ever hurt others, all you can do is feel sorrow for your behavior; in sorrow, you can apologize, and you can make amends, but whether or not others forgive you is their choice.”
By Choosing to Forgive, We Choose Not to Perpetuate Cycle of Revenge. Contributors: Lyndon Harris – author. Magazine Title: Anglican Journal. Volume: 132. Issue: 7. Publication Date: September 2006. Page Number: 15. © 2006 Anglican Church of Canada. Provided by ProQuest LLC. All Rights Reserved.(Harris 15)