Cheating: What’s that?


I first have to ask: what is cheating?

At first glance, this question seems simple, but the “. . . frustrating truth is that there can never be an objective standard, because everyone defines it differently”.  I can go to a bar and a man will send me innuendo-laden messages, by the end of the night, I notice he becomes slightly uncomfortable, why? WELL, he’s married and realized that maybe he really wants to fuck me and not just flirt. “Just because someone’s vowed to be faithful doesn’t mean that vow is being upheld. Many married men like to flirt-boldly, publicly, and provocatively-as if to say, “I can chat you up and turn you on, maybe even fuck you, then go home and fuck my wife”. Could that be considered cheating? What about the more obvious forms of cheating, which include intercourse.  This also seems cut-and-dry at first glance, but for some it depends on ejaculations and emotions. If one does not cum then he does not consider himself a cheater and if she does not feel emotions for him, then she feels as though she did not cheat. What about guys, their girlfriend and the girlfriends-friend and the jealousy between the guy and the girlfriends-friend. I have noticed that men tend to be jealous of the friend and the time their girlfriend spends with her. Okay to make this a little less confusing I’ll use names. So Mike (boyfriend), Cara (Girlfriend), Hedda (Cara’s best friend). Mike notices that when all three of them go out, Cara pays more attention to Hedda and sometimes they flirt, dance on each other and maybe kiss. At first Mike finds it cute, but after a while he thinks maybe they really like each other and he begins to get jealous. Mike tells Cara,”I’m sorry, please keep the boundaries of your friendship neat and even”.  She ignores him because Hedda is her best friend.  Could this be considered cheating? “Almost every relationship rule exists to prevent jealousy. Yet the dirty little secret is that, like all emotions, jealousy doesn’t listen to reason. What our rational minds know to be a partner’s harmless flirtation often feels like an arrow aimed straight at our hearts. We might be jealous of exes, co-workers, or friends of our beloved; . . .  but the feelings are real. . . “.

Now that I discovered; I don’t know what the hell cheating entails, I would like to know why people cheat?

Why do people cheat?  I guess I can say that I have been a culprit in my past and I have felt guilty and at times not. I have been a victim of cheating, in my younger days and can say that every time I felt the same; betrayed, impaired and disrespected. Although, I have felt this emotion I have committed this same crime. So why would I treat someone else in that manner, when I know how it feels?  Luckily, in my more adult life (22+), I have not experienced either (hopefully not, TK), being a cheater or being cheated on. Don’t worry (TK), I was faithful to you. I do have friends that have experienced cheating; on both sides of the spectrum. I noticed that the pain I felt at my younger age, was a cake-walk compared to the way they feel. There is more  invested and probable futures the older ones becomes. When I was 18, all we were worried about was trying to find someone who would buy us beer or Everclear before we go to Dave and Busters (A real investment I’ll tell ya!)

I have asked around and this is one response :  He compared it to ice cream, vanilla is his shit and he loves it’s, most of the time that’s what he gets but sometimes he has gotta get that lime sorbet, Thanks (EW).

That’s it for now; this is only the tip of the iceberg on my convo about cheating. I’m just getting ya’ll a little wet.“Cheaters are so cliché, they want the cake and to eat PUSSY too!”

“If you know how to cheat, start now.”
– Earl Weaver

1 Rachel Kramer Bussel, “Our Cheating Hearts,” The Village Voice 30 Mar. 2005: 130

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